St Valentine's Drinking Contest
by A Perfect Devil
Summary: William T. Spears and Sebastian Michaelis spend the holiday avoiding Grell together.


The bar was dark and largely empty, save for one elderly gentleman and the bar keep. In the back corner where nobody could see him, a demon sat in a booth and drank enough booze to kill a small village.

"How nice to see you here." Sebastian commented as the other man climbed into the booth with him.

"I can not say the same for you." the other man told him.

"Oh come now, William. I was just being polite. You could at least make an attempt to be polite back." Sebastian chided him. William only came here for one thing. It wasn't his fault that he had been exiled to the darkest corner in every building due to his nasty habit of being too honest about his breed. Last time he checked, some humans wanted to put him in a sanatorium. Mortals.

"Never. Go and die somewhere."

"What are you doing here?" Sebastian asked, unsure of whether he'd get another death thread or a proper answer. With William, it was a fifty-fifty shot once he started drinking.

"Avoiding Grell."

"We are both here in this faceless bar, doing the same relative thing. How interesting is that?" The ice was always so difficult to break into.

"It is fucking dull. That is what it is."

"Profanity? You must be off-duty." Sebastian was thrown back by the profanity. William never swore while he worked, and he was always, always, always working on something.

"Did you see my scythe anywhere?"

"You can collapse your death scythe short enough to fit in a pocket. You could not injure me but this is my favorite cloak. I would be utterly heartbroken if you shredded my favorite cloak on Valentine's Day."

"I only want you to leave. Nothing more."

"You just want to drink in peace, I know. Yet it is so very tragic that you spend the night alone. I would be completely heartless if I left you here." Sebastian stated, sprawling himself over the table, his finger tips nearly touching William's forearm. William shifted slightly to the side.

"Don't you have somewhere better to be?" he asked.

"I suppose I could have casual meaningless sex with your girlfriend." Sebastian suggested.

"I suppose I could shred your cloak. A vain creature such as yourself would find that most painful."

"You spend the entire night ignoring her and then you threaten me if I try and comfort her. You are a very selfish man, my dear Mr. Spears. And very selfish in bed, from what I've heard." Sebastian said, twirling a bit of his long hair in his finger tips. He like to just watch William get irrationally angry at him. Sure, Sebastian's temper was shorter but Williams was much, much shorter, especially when Grell got mentioned.

"Less talking and more drinking." William told him.

"Is that a challenge?" Sebastian asked.

"Yes. It is." William informed and the challenge was on.

Now, it was a fifty-fifty bet against a demon and a reaper in a drinking contest. Reapers, by nature, could not die from alcohol poisoning no matter how much of it they got. Demons however, could, but they could also constantly regenerate their liver to avoid any damage and often did so. The only way that a demon could not perform this is if they were starving. Sebastian was drinking on a full stomach and William was a closeted alcoholic. It was an unbreakable shield meeting a sword that could cut through anything.

A few drinks later, and neither of them stopped the constant motion of glare-drink-glare-drink-drink-rink. A few hours later and everyone was gone. The bar closed while the both of them ere still in it, completely invisible to any human eye. They had stumbled back to the store room just because they had completely cleared out whatever has upstairs. It was not over until one of them hit the floor. They'd drink every last bottle in England, and if they had to they'd migrate to Ireland!

Eventually, by some bizarre chance, they made to William's apartment. William would not in his right mind even dare ring a demon close to his home, but he was not in his right mind. He was in his completely plastered mind. William naturally had a liquor cabinet the size of Ciel Phantomhive's wardrobe. Not any more he didn't.

"You givin' up?" Sebastian asked.

"No." William, his head was swimming in a sea of the piss of microbes.

"Neither am I…" Sebastian groaned.

Just a few more shot an he could beat that damn reaper. Just one more drink, one more bottle an he would have bragging rights. Sebastian managed to pour himself out a large glass of gin but he found that his body slumped over and fell out of the chair he was sitting on. He was passed out cold.

"I won, I fuckin' won." William muttered, though it sounded more like 'I on I fualhfahf…' before he too passed out on his kitchen floor next to Sebastian, leaving a towers of empty bottle and glasses in his wake.

"Oh goodness! It must be my lucky day!" Grell cheered.


End file.
